Where Have I Gone?

Wow. I definitely just disappeared altogether from this blog, for a long time. I suppose there are a lot of reasons for that. Life has been crazy (i.e. pretty sucky) this year. But rather than launch into why that is, I'm going to ease back into blogging by starting with another Wednesday's Random Dozen:

1. Have you ever fired a gun or shot a bow and arrow?
Yes to both. I own a gun, and would love to buy another one someday when I have the money to spare. I haven't shot a bow and arrow since I was a kid, but I always loved it. I think it would be really fun to go bow hunting someday (even though I've never gone hunting at all, so I really don't know).

2. Do you know where your childhood best friends are?
Thanks to Facebook, yes. Most of my childhood friends are now married, some have kids, a few have moved away. The girl I was best friends with all through high school is now divorced, and still lives in the same city as me, but we don't talk to each other. 

3. Do you usually arrive early, late, or on time?
I'm usually on time or early, especially for something important. I hate being late or keeping people waiting.

4. Are you more of a New York or California type?
I guess California? I'm basing that largely on the fact that, while New York City is cool, it's definitely not the kind of place I would want to live. Much too big/busy for me. There are several places in California I could live, though. And I suppose I should have some loyalty to California anyway since my parents are from there and I was technically born there. :)

5. Do you have a special ring tone?
Yes I do, I just recently changed it to "Say Hey (I Love You)" by Michael Franti & Spearhead. Such a catchy song! Now if only someone would call me! I should have made it my text ringtone instead.

6. What is your favorite type of chip?
Oooooh this is a tough one. I LOVE chips. I could eat chips all day every day. Lately though I am hooked on Stacy's brand pita chips, the parmesan & garlic ones. Soooo goooooood.

7. Best comedy you’ve ever seen is ….
Movies or TV? Well actually I don't think I could narrow down a favorite of either. My favorite movie is You've Got Mail.. not sure it's the funniest though. My new favorite show is Parks & Rec. That one and Modern Family have me CRACKING UP every week. :D

8. Have you ever cut your own hair? To quote Dr. Phil, “How’d that work for ya?”
Not that I remember, though I'm sure I trimmed my own bangs at some point when I was a kid. They always looked awful anyway though. I wish someone would have told me that.

9. If you were going to have an extreme makeover, would you rather it be about your house or your personal self?
That depends who is doing the making over! I'd probably stick with house. I think to make over my personal self would be much too difficult/personal/challenging. I'm up for free furniture and decorating though. ;)

10. Are you allergic to anything?
I'm allergic to pollen, dust and cats. In the last few years my seasonal allergies haven't been that bad though, which is nice (and odd).

11. Why is it so hard to change?
Ohhh goodness. Because I'm a flawed, sinful person. Because my heart is bent toward rebellion. Because old habits die hard. I'm in the middle of trying to figure this one out in a big way in my life right now.

12. CS Lewis said, “To love is to be vulnerable.” Please share one example of that assertion or share any thought you’d like to about this topic.
In that same quote C.S. Lewis also said:

"Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”

Absolutely true. I've given my heart away (probably too many times, and often very unwisely). And some of it I regret. But some of it I don't. I spent 4+ years of my life with a man who I was absolutely sure I would marry, and while now it is excruciatingly painful to accept the fact that we will never be together again, I do not regret loving him. We had a lot of really wonderful times together. I learned a lot about myself and about relationships, giving, patience and so much else.

To use Lewis' quote, my heart is breakable, it is penetrable, but it is also redeemable (hence the title of my blog).