I "Got In His Way"

As a somewhat-newly single woman (I've been single since January but really only started "dating" a few months ago), I am trying to get the hang of what it looks like to be a single woman in a Christian community. I definitely desire to find the right man and begin a relationship. And there have been a few guys here and there that I've been interested in. It's kind of awkward though, because I have really not been out "on the market" since my freshman year of college - and that was a very different environment. Meeting and getting to know people required absolutely no effort at all back in college. They were just there all the time, and people just sort of seemed to fall into relationships without even trying.

But now, I am a grown up. I work with pretty much all married men in their 30's. I don't meet new people anywhere except for at church. Even with that, there are 1300+ people at my church, so it can be difficult to really get to know someone. Fortunately, we recently went through a series on dating. My pastor is very much a matchmaker, and since our church is so young and has a lot of singles, he gave a good amount of dating advice. It basically broke down to this...

Ladies: find a man you like, and "get in his way". Continually be in the places where he's at, and eventually he will notice you.

Men: look at the women who are "in your way", find one you like, and man up and initiate something.

So, okay. I'm doing what I was told. Today I listened to a Mark Driscoll podcast from the book of Ruth (recommended by the lovely Brittany), and he discussed what a woman should do if there is a man she's interested in. What Ruth did is, she dressed nicely and looked her best, and then went to the places where he'd be at.

I did that today.

I wore a cute new sweater that I bought on my probably ill-advised shopping spree yesterday, did my eye makeup (which I don't always), and tried to look my best. I also normally attend the 7pm service at my church, but today I went to the 5pm because that is the service Musician attends. I'd say it went well. We chatted for a little bit before the service, but then had to go sit down. Afterwards, we both awkwardly lingered in the lobby talking to other people for a long time (fun tidbit, he spent a lot of this time talking to and waiting with a severely disabled man who comes to our church, and also helped him out when his ride got there - SO CUTE). I ended up sitting and chatting with a friend, and he continued to sit near me (in my girly perception it seemed he was waiting for an opening to come talk to me) for like 1/2 an hour. Unfortunately my friend was really chatty and it could have seemed rude for him to cut in and start talking to me. He eventually left. My instinct is that he did seem interested in me - he talked to me, said "It's good to see you!", smiled a lot, and I think even winked at me once. But who really knows, because he is, after all, a boy.

But, I did my part! I got in his way, just like a good Christian woman is supposed to do. It's difficult to be so patient and passive though! I am, by nature, a pretty flirtatious person. I am finding it very challenging to just sit back and wait for him to pursue me (if he chooses to). I hope he will... but in the mean time I can get pretty crazy/obsessive wondering about it.

Have any of you out there done this whole "get in his way" thing? Does it really work? (I hope so!) ;)

Just a pretty picture... maybe this will be us someday. ;)